Help….I am 35 and I can’t orgasm when I am with a female.

Mar 17, 2017

I read an article the other day about the plight of a seriously sad individual who after 35 years of living on this earth has not been able to orgasm with a woman.  I mean, coming from personal experience, its one of the great feelings in life to be in a warm dark tight place and feel the euphoria of an orgasm building up while the jackhammering is happening. That moment right before the explosion where that feeling builds to a heightening crescendo is probably the best. Where you try your hardest to hold onto that feeling, but you know it is futile.  If I were this guy, I would be craving this feeling constantly, yearning to have that connection as well as having that explosion in the end.  So, I thought of some of the reasons why this guy may have issues. 


1.    Jerking the chicken too much:  Perhaps this fella has spent the better part of his life taking care of his own business and not leaving it in the hands of others.  Since he knows his body, he knows exactly how to make himself cum. The pressure, the speed, the inspiration may all need to be in sync for the grand finale to happen.  As tough as it sounds, maybe he needs to ween himself off the DIY handys before he can really find his way to orgasm with a woman.

2.    Drugs:  Taking drugs for other reasons may affect your ability to orgasm.  It has been documented that anti depression medication has the side effect of loss of sexual desire as well as decreased orgasms.  This could definitely be a reason why.  In cases like this, maybe sexual relief is the least of his problems and he should take care of his other issues first.

3.    No connection: Some guys need to have a connection with a woman to have an orgasm.  I mean, usually it is the woman that needs to have a psychological connection in order to orgasm, but sometimes men can have the same feeling.  That deep down, sex is a deeply personal act and in order to reach climax, that connection needs to be strong.


What do you guys think about this dood and why he can't cum?


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y0j1mb0 :

That comment about a dick being a muscle and muscle memory effecting performance is interesting. Also, maybe years of jerking off desensitizes the penis to a certain extent? Whenever I'm with an escort she usually has to finish me off with a handjob.

04-18-2017 00:09:21

sweeter :

I agree about what's inside the brain. JerKing off does not affect cumin with a partner.

04-17-2017 01:52:39

deanmlitz :

Actually, I have the same issue the older I get. I am 52 now. When in my late 30's and thru my 40's, I exercised my "male Kegels" soooo much, I think I am paying the price for it now...just a thought.

04-15-2017 17:55:59

alanhad :

I agree with all three of your points, and I have a lot of experience with #1 and #3. The first time I was with an escort, I had gotten so used to jerking off, that I had a hard time keeping a stiffy. Viagra has helped a little. But ever since then, when I am with someone where I feel a real connection I don't need any help. If I am with an escort I usually need two things, a) drug support and b) some sort of fantasy where I can make it feel like it's anything other than what it really is, a prostitute waiting for you to finish. Ok that's cynical, but if my brain thinks it might be true then that's what governs. My advice to younger guys who jerk off a lot.. knock it off. Your just making it harder on yourself. Or should I say softer.

04-12-2017 18:23:00

staph :

Obviously gay

04-09-2017 11:46:29

vaguy3000 :

I had this same problem a few years ago. I would get to the point of cuming and would start sweating profusely and then everything would just shut down. Limp dick. No ejection. After dissipointing myself and a couple woman. It turns out the problem was those energy drinks that have become so popular. The Taurine and Guarana in these drinks shrink the vessel needed to cum properly. I had been drinking them for so many years it took awhile to cure myself, but now I am just fine. I currently hardly touch any caffeine just because I don't want to mess myself up again. So to recap: if you start sweating as you're trying to cum and you drink energy drinks, this could be the answer you've been searching for. Good luck!

04-08-2017 01:35:24

fazul :

Connection can definitely matter, but the right provider will be adept at creating that connection. Your DIY concern may be valid, but I know more than a few providers actually like watching a guy jerk off because it tells them what the guy likes. Most of all, at 35, I wouldn't be surprised if it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. He's so scared of not being able to climax that, indeed, he can't Again, the right, experienced provider may be able to get him around that. A longer session would probably help defuse some of the early nerves and get the provider more time to work.

04-06-2017 22:33:37

elwin4 :

I think all what's been said is a combined truth. Some guys who perhaps have no particular thing that turns them on might just be suited to be a eunuch which all Okay. Watching a porn movie gets a guy in the mood or recollecting a personal sexual experience works like crazy. My first time was with a hooker in Amsterdam, Holland and I couldn't get past how uncomfortable I felt with no romance just pure animal behavior. Results a big fat zero and the girl knew I was a virgin and wondered why I couldn't. To be honest I wish I waited. When I got married and was in love we both let loose and I felt so empowered to conquer the world which I never felt with anyone else. I do however have the kind of sex with the one I see that gets all of my sexual desires fulfilled. Big tits and the kind of bbbj that hits it every time. I just think this guy needs to find his desire and the rest will fall in it's place.

03-28-2017 21:20:03

kitra :

I have met quite a few guys that can't orgasm through intercourse or a blow job.... they can get there "almost", but have to take matters into their own hands to be able to ejaculate. I honestly think it is because the man has gotten too used to cumming from masturbation: it has to feel a certain way for him to get there. Your penis is a muscle, and muscles have memory. If you've been jacking off most of your life then that is what your body is used to

03-28-2017 10:22:58

desireemcggffee :

I think it's nerves honestly Everyone, he us 35 I'm sure he has been off medication..ect

03-25-2017 22:05:48

alya_n_monroe :

Call me 816 988 1323 I'll make it all better and wetter #$quirt

03-25-2017 18:54:44

angie32 :

Some man can't Cum, he can try a fingers in to give him prostate massage, or use prostate toys to put in Ashole to rubbing a prostate area then he can cum, it help a lots

03-24-2017 13:12:20

curious02guy :

Maybe his is just gay and doesn't know it yet, rofl

03-24-2017 09:13:58

Chancejim9 :

poor guy. maybe have not found the right girl yet

03-20-2017 15:31:44

recharger :

For me I have to save it for at least 36 hours, preferably 48 to 72 for a bigger load and easier delivery.

03-20-2017 08:25:37

elwin4 :

Performance anxiety and over focusing can make it worse. Don't think it's normal to hop in bed with a stranger like you're a couple of dogs. Having a lunch or a tea at first works. Clicking with the girl helps a lot too. Being rushed or feeling like a dot on the map hinders as well. Personally, this shit is a business especially when you are asked if you're with LE or what your race is or how you're treated. Not a real turn on. Personally, I think it's absolutely normal to not cum and try to just experience what you can and work up to a sexual climax when you feel at ease. We are men not fucking machines. Once I got past my uneasiness I did better than I thought I would. It was me tripping off of no performance that screwed me the most. You will perform when you're ready to and not before.

03-18-2017 17:03:33

lanalovesghb :

There could be an emotional factor at play too like depression, guilt, or self consciousness. Was this guy single or in a relationship?

03-18-2017 08:18:44

lanalovesghb :

There could be an emotional factor like guilt, depression, self conciousness at play too. Was this guy in a relationship or single?

03-18-2017 08:15:39

joyboy32117 :

I had the same issue once I turned 30, but not jerking off and saving it worked wonders.

03-18-2017 07:01:12

joyboy32117 :

I have the same issue, but not jerking off and saving it works wonders. Number 3 is a big reason also.

03-18-2017 06:58:23

beardie :

Quit thinking about it jr.and just rid it till you bust a nut

03-17-2017 16:41:43

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