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Turning Her On!!

Oct 17, 2018

I was reading the other day that Men are microwaves and women are slow cookers.

With men, all you have to do is push a few buttons, and we're hotter than a habanero. But with women, it's an all-day process. You have to buy the ingredients, mix them together, and then put everything in the pot and let it simmer ... and simmer ... and simmer.

So, I thought it would be fun to figure out some ways to get her engines going.

  1. Buy Her something from VS
    A gift of lingerie is cliched, right? So twist it. Give it to her when you (seemingly) don't expect sex right then and there. Pass it under the table at a restaurant and ask her to go to the ladies' room and change into it. 


  1. Whisper into Her Ear
    In public, at a party, tell her what you want to do to her later: "Tonight, I'm going to make you have as many orgasms as possible


  1. Bear Fruit
    Chocolate syrup and whipped cream get all the kinky play in movies. Instead, turn her body into a juicer. "The best foods for sex are fruits that you can rub onto the body, such as soft mango or papaya. Then devour both her and the fruit." Get sticky, shower, repeat. 


  1. Give Her a Massage
    But make it interesting:
  • In hot weather, roll a chilled can of soda along the backs of her thighs. 
  • In cool weather, warm a towel in the microwave for 10 seconds and massage her with it. 
  • Season her belly with a little salt, and then slowly lick it off. Add tequila to taste.
  • Turn winter gloves inside out, put them on, and massage her with the soft side.
  1. Give Her Chills
    "Cold is sensed by more nerve endings than mere touch can reach, so you're expanding her range of response Do this: Chill a bunch of grapes for at least 20 minutes. Then trail a small sprig of them along her neck, nipples, and inner thighs. Nibble away. Now put a grape in your mouth and gently press it against her clitoris by holding it in your teeth or between your lips.


  1. Make a Bedroom Burrito
    Bondage is appealing for a good reason: It heightens the anticipation for the one who's receiving the pleasure. But anything with locks, Velcro, or ties can freak her out (me, too), so try this: While you're rolling around in bed, wrap her up in the sheet so she can't do anything with her arms (think burrito or straitjacket). Leave her head, shoulders, and lower legs uncovered. Now kiss every inch of exposed skin. It's simple, spontaneous, and soft-core.


  1. Blindfold Yourself
    Many women who are insecure about their bodies stick to the missionary position because you can't see their bodies that way. If you really can't see her because your eyes are covered, she'll do a lot more with you, to you, and for you.


  1. Do It in Public
    Or just pretend. Exhibitionism is a secret thrill for many women, but the threat of arrest deters them. So have sex standing up, with her near the bedroom window. It's easy to duck out of the way. If she's semi clothed, your neighbors will be none the wiser.


  1. Work the Angle
    Liberator Shapes velvet cushions create an "orgasm-optimum" 26-degree pelvic tilt, which means maximum contact between your body and her clitoris, and minimum demands for foreplay. Feel free to adjust the angle slightly—there's evidence that 27 degrees works as well.


  1. Get Bigger
    When you're on top, place her legs over your shoulders. This shortens her vaginal canal, so your penis feels bigger inside her.



Here are a couple of things I think are good, can't wait to see what you guys have to say.

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