Erotic Locations

Dec 4, 2017

The Erotic Monkey team was having a bit of a discussion the other day. What’s the wildest place you’ve ever done the deed? For starters, and surprising no one, we all had already had car dates that ended in car smut. Even one of our admins who had never had it decided to book one after reading the blog piece on car dates we did earlier in the year.


So what came next? I myself did it at the beach one time, and I don’t mean a nudist beach. My date (who was very expensive I might add) objected to it at first, but it was a nice evening out and it was a holiday, we just got down and dirty, I made sure not to get any dirt on us though. To my surprise, I was the only one.


You all know George, I can confirm a wild story of his: He had booked an appointment but later in the day he damn near broke his ankle, we had to take him to the hospital and he ended up having to wait a long-ass time while they got his X-Rays back and then did the mold for the cast and, well, the point is he was gonna be in there a long time and didn’t want to miss his appointment. Long story short he managed to convince the lady to come in posing as his very worried wife, and George got down and dirty in a hospital bed.


Something I found funny too was that almost half of our staff had already joined the mile-high club, not with escorts though, I wouldn’t wanna know how much an escort chargers for a “round trip,” honestly. When the guys started talking about who had already done it at our offices our boss showed up and shut down the whole conversation though, bummer.


So what’s your kinkiest smut location? Sometimes sex can’t wait and you just gotta do it anywhere.



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isamarewas :

Nuclear Powered Fast Attack Submarine when I was in the Navy

06-30-2018 13:35:09

theklown94 :

I had a provider in the cemetery on a bench while I was blindfolded. Now that was exciting.

05-10-2018 12:07:00

iquois59 :

I did it in the bathroom at Lynnhurst Tuners home

01-25-2018 14:20:03

biga1986 :


01-22-2018 09:57:48

summer-misty :

Ive NEVER answered this blog before but, it peeked my curiosity, simple but it is on my bucket list. Which i started at the age of 18. i would DEFINITELY join the mile high club

01-21-2018 23:22:25

silentwing :

At a wineclub members event near Solvang. During the tour of the wine barrel room, we dropped out of one group, hid behind a couple of barrels, (I had scoped out the location during a previous event), and almost got caught by a second group, because we were so turned on that we tried for a second round. We barely heard them, before they heard us. We managed to keep hidden and quiet, though my gf gave me really dirty looks, as I kept slowly pumping her and playing with her very sensitive nipples forcing her to suppress her moans as the group walked by. She then had me age one of the barrels. I have not drunk Merlot since.

01-20-2018 04:53:19

dorje51 :

I have a few locations- in the heat or the moment we quickly ducked into an orange grove and had fun under an orange tree maybe fifteen ft or so off the trail we were walking on on the edge of the city of Tel Aviv. At the edge of a village In pool of a large stream fed higher up in the mountains by glacial melt in Nepal. We were too engrossed in ourselves to notice until afterwards that we had an audience of village kids who were peeking out at us from behind some large rocks that surrounded the pool. I scolded them in Nepali and shooed them away but only until after they had a lesson in sex education.

01-19-2018 17:13:50

sass4me :

Over DEN at 39,000', on a revenue flight from SAN-DTW & I was the Captain, not in the pit, nor lavs, butt in row 39>>>>^^^<<<<<

01-18-2018 14:55:02

ihousedesign :

going through all this just pops memories into my head 1. girlfriends mom back of rollerskating rink 1978 i was 15 it was amazzing 2. went on vacation with parents met woman on beach i was 17 she was older and took me back to her place, in the middle of our soke and wet exchange her husband walks in with a girl my age so foursome (amazing) 3. dated a girl in collage and notice one night that a hand mark from a brisk spanking was gone, followed her home to find out i was dating twins. should have kept my mouth shut as when i asked for both they were gone. nice story to tell though all true. Happy new year to all

01-18-2018 11:03:19

loveallyourholes :

In a wave pool underneath a very hot lifeguard (1997).

01-17-2018 11:43:50

lilrabbit420 :

In the movie theater watching the tuxedo movie was so bored and we need more action

01-17-2018 07:06:34

workout45 :

In shower at co Ed gym in 1986

01-14-2018 14:04:26

shooter100 :

In 1955 in an open Jeep in Alaska with the temp around Zero. When the opportunity arises rise to the occasion..

01-13-2018 13:08:04

harddrob :

In a canoe. Lake Cachuma Ventura County. Ahh good times

01-11-2018 01:04:18

jessika1988 :

nice review site

01-08-2018 09:23:24

jerry711 :

Back seat of my BMW in a hotel parking lot. I just picked up my slim Asian girlfriend at her lunch hour and drove to nearest semi-private place. Did the deed in broad daylight. Hot!

01-07-2018 09:54:38

bfifty150 :

In a large size Andy Gump standing, from behind top of Reseda blvd. Once doggy on s hiking trail same area

01-06-2018 05:08:40

wgoconnell4roee :

Whenever it's a long coed session behind foggedup glass at any offices and shops is enough to wonder whether it's an actual lack of class that keeps an organized feeding frenzy from starting. It's both sexes gettin tight that causes mutual feelings right? Or am I wrong? The keys to requited lust...if only Wed consciously know em

01-04-2018 14:06:14

jm1 :

My junior year of high school. A friend of my mom’s (she in her mid-40’s and very hot, me 17). I had taken care of their dog while they were away so I knew where the house key was hidden. Thought they were out of town, so I snuck over one Saturday afternoon to peek in her lingerie drawer (something I’d done previously). She had a very exotic collection of silky lingerie and pantyhose- still remember the wonderful smell emanating from the drawer. Like I said, I thought the family was out of town, so I let myself in, went to the master bedroom and got naked. Laying on the king size bed, I practically buried myself in lingerie and stockings, using a satin slip to stroke my cock in. Suddenly heard the door open downstairs and keys dropped loudly on the counter. Hearing steps coming upstairs, I jumped up off the bed and ran into the bathroom, heat racing and boner still raging. Needless to say, Mrs. B was startled to find me in her bathroom. She was very cool about it though and told me to put a towel on and talk to her. I came out with one of her towels wrapped around my waist and sat in a chair, she in the edge of her bed. She actually told me she was flattered by my infatuation with her, but nobody could ever know about what happened. She walked over to me- I remember feeling humiliated and couldn’t look her in the eyes. Rather, I stared down at her beautiful, toned, cream-colored pantyhose-encased legs in pink heels heading my way. I stood up and she hugged me, rubbing my back saying she understands. She raised my head and gave me the most wonderful, sensuous 20 second kiss I’ve ever experienced. She then said I should get dressed and leave. Went home and have been jacking off to that 20-year old memory ever since. TRUE STORY.

01-03-2018 11:15:14

dirt3.14 :

Brand new Jack N Box restaurant bathroom.

01-02-2018 12:31:01

higherfirer :

Would you like to see an original 2002 review site for all the dancers at Market Street Cinema strip club of San Francisco? in original format of 1 to 10 ratings Willie Brown was just elected mayor and lifted all the restrictions about illegal touching for a lap dances...Private lap dance booths were provided and stage fees went up by 5x.... The dot com bubble was growing like a tent in your pants, as sites like TUSCL and were born testing our privacy protection. And those sites gave strippers the credibility they deserved,,,surprised us as we were checked, validated and fucking APPRECIATED, which felt real good..It was public ..not hiding on the bathroom walls. Pretty soon we will all evolve hopefully upward.. everything evolves to its opposite for the sake of balance.. so practice balance ...then practice gratitude.

01-02-2018 05:10:28

nitti :

I wasn't with an escort but in my younger days I was definitely a risk taker. My FWB at the time ride the last subway train from Alexandria VA ..(12:30?) She was petite with a nice round ass. She reversed cowgirl for two empty stations... guess 12 mins.. on guy got on and we froze..her skirt was long in the front. I slowly pumped until I came.

01-01-2018 14:36:16

kimozhere :

Movie theater back row. Reclining seats. Matinee showing. No others in our row. My "date" was stroking my cock and as I was about to bust, she climbed on, straddled me, and rode until I shot. Took less than 2 minutes, but the risk of being caught made it great. Not sure I would do it again, but it's possible.

01-01-2018 10:31:54

funseekeresq :

In area behind the moot Court judges bench in my law school. It was separated from the rest of the lecture hall by a floor to ceiling dloding panel and my gf and I would fuck there during study breaks! Sometimes our fellow students would be on the other side of the sliding partition while we're sucking and fucking. It was the best part of law school!

12-31-2017 05:06:46

funseekeresq :

On the stairs of the Catholic school in NYC Chinatown. My gf & I had finished hanging up a banner from one of the classroom windows stretching across the street and we'd been arguing about something stupid. I told her I was sorry kissed her to makeup and next thing we were doing was pushing her cut off on the 3d floor staris and I fucked her hard and fast for about 5 minutes before coming . After I came in her she had to scanper off to the girls room to clean up before our combined juices ran down her thighs. It was a hot summer!

12-31-2017 05:02:20

yerassman :

In Rochester NY, met an escort at her house in the country, it was autumn so chilly, I picked her up in my truck, we drove to this palce in the sticks that was actually a drive way in front of barn and the people were home, it was 11 at night and she said they were old and asleep. I was more than leary, but the little head was calling the shots. She brought a blanket, we hopped in the back of the truck and had sex in every position and orifice on her body. The people never came out, had they, they would have gotten a hell of a show.

12-30-2017 15:55:18

roydefenbaugh :

Bondage services in San Luis Obispo area.

12-28-2017 21:50:53

dj01 :

I was 16yrs old in an elevator. An older woman, well older than I like 30 entered the elevator with me. The door closed we were both going to the 20th floor. A few floors up she hit the estop and said she wanted or just had to suck my.cock and that she could not help it that she was sexually drawn to guys in my age range. She dropped to her knees and of course at that age i was hard before she even finished her sentence about having to suck my cock. After a bit she stood up turned around pulled her skirt up and told me to fuck her hard and do it now. It was my 1st ever and only lasted about 20 or 25 good hard fast thrusts. When we done she cleaned her pussy up by reaching down and wiping my cum up with her hand and slurping it into her mouth. She then started licking my cock clean and i was so scared now and all of a sudden the phone on the elevator started ringing. This was in the 70's before anyone ever heard of aids. During that time anything you could have caught was cured with a shot or a weeks worth of antibiotics lmao. Didnt get layed again till i was 20 or so.

12-21-2017 17:32:29

klove69 :

On the ferris wheel at a well known Ohio amusement park! All the way at the top, was stuck for some "technical" issues, I had to ride him, very quickly, but omg it was amazing!!!

12-18-2017 01:58:43

breesd50 :

Try this again. Way up above the stage at the Conejo Players Players Theater in Thousand Oaks during a live performance of a play. We had to walk on cat walks to get to a small room which he already set up with blanket, wine, candle and ropes. Scariest, most exhilarating sex ever.

12-17-2017 00:03:04

rooster6969 :

The parking lot of the Hooters Casino in Vegas.

12-15-2017 16:27:07

rastabus1 :

Give ya one....In college, stopped at a small trailer park on fucked outside on the hood because it was dark with no cars. We both got off and then I saw a TT lady staring out her window. Oh well, she learned something that day lol.

12-15-2017 02:01:20

findo :

Behind a dumpster at my girlfriends apartment complex..... so dirty but so hot! That was she gets for not wearing panties with that sundress. Almost got caught by the apartment maintenance guy.

12-14-2017 16:42:05

lilredrider :

Okay so no judging right... LoL It was on my lunch break at my first job ever. I was bent over the hood of my car right in the parking lot at Winn Dixie.. True story

12-14-2017 03:01:45

lilredrider :

Okay so I would have to say that the most kinkiest place that I've ever had sex was bent over the hood of my car in Winn Dixie parking lot while I was on y lunch break at work... True Story

12-14-2017 02:58:19

sandy_sin4433 :

At 17 on my Dad's washing machine while he was still home.

12-13-2017 14:13:36

somftiglj :

In college I had access to the school's natatorium (the pool for those who don't know what the natatorium is). So on a Sunday when the pool was closed, me and my girlfriend snuck in and locked the door behind us. We put on Scuba Diving equipment which was available for classes at the school. We went to the deep end where the diving boards were and proceeded to ravage each other. I never sucked an air tank empty so quickly. Every time I ever used that pool again, brought back some great memories!

12-13-2017 10:33:59

json80 :

Former Dallas Cowboys Stadium during the off season. On the field, directly on the 50 yard line star under the dome opening. It was sad to see the stadium go to say the least.

12-12-2017 19:34:19

bennysmith :

My first wife and I hiked to the top of Angels Landing in Zion Nat'l Park. We were still in the newlywed stage, and I got very horny seeing her in front of me wearing some very short, tight cutoff Levi's. Since we had a good view of everything below us, and no one was anywhere close, I suggested that this could be the craziest place ever to have sex. Much to my surprise, she agreed! We got right to it, and the rest is history. By the time we finished, we could hear more people making their way up the steep section near the top that is protected by chains. We got cleaned up and dressed just as 2 more couples came into view.

12-11-2017 16:48:38

htrod :

Two moments in my life come to mind. First was not with an escort, but a women who lost her brother due to a long illness. I'd known her several years, she was attractive, not married or in a relationship. He spoke at the service, met at the grave site, continued our conversation after the service. She mentioned that cemetery's ere ugly scary places. I mentioned that there was a pond with Koi fish near by. She asked me to show her, in route, I stopped at a small store to buy bread to feed the fish and a bottle of wine for us. We parked, fed the fish, I held her hand and kissed her check, which lead to use locking lips, hands roaming, hiked dress, fingering, HJ and we fucked right there on the bench in the Gazibo. Never saw her again! Second: I met the escort at a large park off the 10 frwy in Whittier. She arrived late, I mentioned that I'd have to spank her for her being tardy. On the 2nd whack, she asked me to hit her harder, then she pulled her dress up and panties down, lay on a pick nick able and shoved me inside her. This was a weekday, so less people, but the few who saw us fucking hooped it up! She came, I came, we cleaned up as best we could and left. She never asked me for the donation, so I saved $200.

12-10-2017 22:29:05

rockmaryland :

In the bathroom of a Catholic Church

12-10-2017 16:59:24

nyclover :

In a remote location in Central Park.

12-09-2017 18:52:34

lee615 :

Houston Texas in the Westheimer district has non functional phone booths. The ideal opportunity presented itself and I went in Clark Kent and came out(no pun intended) Superman with my adventurous date.

12-06-2017 17:08:36

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